My Story : Eric Mathews | Mahalo Mom

In late September 2020, my mom was diagnosed with small cell pancreatic cancer. Less than seven months later on April 13th, while I was sitting on the tarmac of the Daniel K. Inouye International airport rushing to get back to Kentucky to see her, my mom, Elsie Mathews, passed away. This will be the first  Mother's Day I won't be able to see her, or call her, or buy her a 99-cent random card from the store, scratch out the message and write in my own goofy message. Today I pay tribute to the kindest heart I've ever known and reflect on her influence.  

From the summer of 2011 to 2012, I learned a lot because I failed a lot. I was a year removed from earning my degree at Western Kentucky State University and taking a big step in my career by working at IMG College. I signed a contract as an on-air-personality within Conference USA and the Sun Belt working as a studio host, then picked up and moved my life to Winston Salem, North Carolina. I was young, excited, and wanted to do all these big things with a company that had national reach. And then I completely tanked. Not only did I tank, but I tanked hard.

About three months into my assignment, I was fired due to performance. I went home to Kentucky and moved back in with my parents. After a couple of days, I remember my mom asking, "Do you think you'll do that again? Do you think you'll move away?" It didn't take me long to answer with, "Yeah, I have one big one left in me."

Fast forward about five years later. I'm out of the broadcasting business; I went back to school, earned a master's degree, and working as a director at a Division II HBCU (Historically Black College University) called Kentucky State University. For a year and a half, I worked with some amazing people, but it was a challenging job because KSU had its problems. Every ounce of energy during the year and a half I worked at KSU was devoted to leaving, and I had one place on my mind the entire time, but never really saw it as a real possibility. 

On December 19th, 2017, I received an email from my colleague and now supervisor here at UH, Derek Inouchi. Right before I took the director position at KSU in 2016, I visited Hawai'i and Derek in hopes of one day making it my home. During that time of growth and experience, Derek and I stayed in contact, leading to his email making me aware of a job opening in the department. I was floored by the message. My mind was racing.I was trying to stay calm and not overact.

At the time, I was on break and  hanging out at my parent's house. I came through the kitchen about an hour after receiving the email, and my mom asks, "Are you ok? You seem off." First off, she may have seen me for five seconds, and secondly, how could she tell so quickly? I responded by saying, "I'm fine, but there may be something happening with work, and I may have a chance somewhere else." From the time I received the email to this conversation, I've been around my mom for less than a minute. She paused, looks at me, and said, "It's Hawai'i, isn't it?" I couldn't help but laugh, replying with, "How did you know?" We discussed it for a few minutes, but she ended the conversation by saying something that continues to stick with me, "I'm scared, but I know you're not. If it works out, and if it's what you want, go for it."

Recently I celebrated three years as a part of the UH Athletics family, and it means a lot to me to be here and getting to do things I do within our department. Before I hit my three-year mark, my mom was diagnosed while all of us were dealing with COVID-19. Every year I've been here, I make sure to go back to Kentucky for Christmas, but this year was different. I thought about not going because I didn't want to get COVID-19, risking the possibility of giving it to my parents, especially with my mom and her condition due to chemo and radiation weakening her immune system. Somehow both my parents caught it, and while my dad had symptoms, my mom was asymptomatic. Both ended up being fine, and it made my decision to go home easier while my co-workers encouraged me to go and be with my mom for a little while.

Unfortunately, while in Kentucky, I caught COVID-19. It extended my time at home with my mom for about a week. I cannot tell you how much it means to me now that I spent a little more time with her. She was getting stronger, moving around without any restrictions, and was being much more like herself. One of the essential conversations we had before I left was when I asked her if she wanted me to move back to Kentucky because my dad was stressing that I should consider it. With strength in her voice, a strength I hadn't heard in months, she responded with, "No, you sacrificed and took risks to get out there, and many people can't say they've been able to do what you've done. You're happy and building the life you want. I will be fine, and your dad will be fine. If you want to come back, then do it. But don't come back because of me. It's not what I want; I want what you want. Stay there and build your life."

I share my story and these three moments not to bring attention to myself or my mom. She wouldn't like the attention at all. But I share them to relate to our student-athletes. All three conversations are similar to what student-athletes tell us they go through when they decide to come to Hawai'i. To many, it's not an easy decision, but this type of conversation helps because they're so supportive.

When I needed to hear it, my mom always asked the right question or gave the right answer. After experiencing failure, she asked me a question to make sure my head was right, and I wouldn't give up. An opportunity comes up to move five thousand miles away, she responds by putting her concerns aside and encouraging me to go after it. But then, in one of our last face-to-face conversations, she tells me not to worry; things will be ok in the long run.

While I'm far from being a college athlete, she impacted my life like a college athlete's mom would, encouraging me to pursue what I wanted and always be there for me when I needed it. In times like today, I urge you to be like mom, encourage others, be there for them, and help them. We all need it, and mom always knows best. 

I love you mom. I'm ok because of what you did for me. And I miss you every day. 

#MYSTORY

Eric Mathews is in his third year with the media relations department of UH Athletics.